


Accidental Cat-ifiation

by Celticas



Series: Trope Bingo [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Animal Tranformation, M/M, air vents, trope bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 05:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21294248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celticas/pseuds/Celticas
Summary: Phil isn't impressed to return to base to find they hadn't only lost his boyfriend, they had also turned him into a cat.
Relationships: clint barton/ phil coulson
Series: Trope Bingo [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1518110
Comments: 11
Kudos: 141
Collections: Clint/Coulson Trope Bingo





	Accidental Cat-ifiation

Agent Phil Coulson was on the warpath. He and Natasha had been sent on a supervisory mission, making sure the new batch of Junior Agents were up to scratch. Three days he had spent running them around Johannesburg. Getting home after midnight, officially missing his boyfriend’s birthday for the third year running, all he wanted to do was curl up in bed with said boyfriend and sleep.

Sitwell had been waiting with a briefing packet and a sheepish expression when they had exited the quinnjet. He wasn’t going to like whatever was in that innocuous manila folder. He was right. They had fucking lost Clint. Oh, but it got better. They hadn’t just lost the sniper, they had turned him into a cat and  _ then _ lost him.

He slammed into the research division of the small base they were stationed at. He took a perverse pleasure in seeing the couple of scientists still working, jump at the unexpected sound. 

Doctor Williams hurried across the room at Phil’s entrance.

“Sir! We don’t know what happened.” They were apologising before they had even stopped moving.

“Start from the beginning” He struggled to keep his voice even.

“An 084 from a collection in Dresden was collected by Charlie Team. Agent Barton came in to collect his replacement quiver. From security footage, he tripped and his hand landed on the object when he tried to catch himself.” The words rushed out, trying to make sure Agent Coulson, as close to a boogie man as SHIELD got, knew it hadn’t been because of anything any of the scientists had done.

The thunderstorm that was settling over the Senior Agent’s face suggested it wasn’t working. “Why was he able to touch the 084? There are containment protocols that should have stopped that from happening.” 

Williams’ whole body cringed. They had hoped they could gloss over that. To lie or not to lie? 

“Doctor Anderson stepped away for just a second. He was working on it.” No need to specify how long Jamie had been away from his desk.

Phil saw the wriggle room in the answer but let it go, the security logs would answer that later. For now, he just wanted to find Clint. If he had gotten out of the base as a cat, they might never find him.

“He touched the 084, then what?” He got them back on track.

“Poof.” Williams pushed his hands away from each other, miming an explosion, or magic trick. They weren’t very good at non-verbal communication, or verbal communication really. “Here one second, gone the next. All of his gear was in a pile and a tiny kitten was under it. Simmons tried to catch him, but he wriggled away and disappeared.” 

Nothing the scientist was saying way helpful other than Phil making a mental note to get someone to look into safety procedures in the lab spaces. Everything Williams was saying had been in the packet Jasper had given him fifteen minutes ago.

“Do we have any leads about where he went?” He asked without much hope of a cogent answer.

“Left out of the lab. There is a video, but he goes into a storage room and then nothing.” They typed a few commands into the closest terminal and a black and white image of the hallway outside the lab filled the screen. The image flickered, empty frames playing. A small movement in the bottom right corner was the first sign of what was happening. A tiny form, a striped kitten, skittered into frame. Claws failing to find any grip on the concrete floor he skidded before finding purchase and shooting down the corridor. Williams moved to the playback in the next hallways, starting a few seconds before where the last ended.

Together they watched the kitten raced down three different corridors, weaving through the legs of the few people he passes. In the fourth corridor, he slipped into the partially open door of storage room seven. The agents chasing the cat ran straight past the door.

Williams stopped the recording there. “Someone has been watching the door since we realised where he went, and the room has been searched. He isn’t there.”

Phil clamped down on the smirk that wanted to break out. He knew where the temporary feline had gone. Without saying anything he turned on his heel and walked out. The hallways were filled with people. All of the staff on base out searching for the archer. 

Without exception, they all sped out of his way. Giving him a clear shot through the small base. Sometimes it was good to be boss. He was heading in the opposite direction from the storage room they had last seen Clint enter. Williams who had followed him out of the lab and Jasper, who had slipped into Phil’s wake, were whispering to each other. Wondering if he had finally cracked. Down one flight of stairs, he continued through the identical hallways that stretched between the administrative offices. His own ‘corner office’, there weren’t any spectacular views to appreciate when you were three floors underground, was at the end of the floor. Almost directly under storage room seven.

Climbing onto his desk wasn’t the most graceful thing he had ever done. The higher vantage point, allowed him to shift the air vent cover and reach a hand into what should have been a dust covered void. Instead, the metal was clean from the repeated passage of fabric, and the void wasn’t as empty as anyone else would have expected.

If he hadn’t been coming off three straight days without sleep, he would have re-thought sticking his hand blindly into the vent. But he was, and he didn’t. The sting of tiny claws swiped across the back of his hand.

“Clint!” He admonished.

A tiny meow echoed out of the space, and a twitching pink nose appeared. Quickly followed by a white and orange cat tumbling out. Phil caught him before he hit the desk.

“Hello.”

“Meow.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm over on [Tumblr](https://quartzcelticas.tumblr.com/). Come say 'hi'.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Paw-sible Deniability](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25820113) by [florahart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/florahart)


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